Losing

I am losing

Losing this silent war

Everyday it takes a little more from me

Something different

My sanity, my vitality, my patience, my courage, my humanity

I’m losing them and I’m scared

 

I fight on, this silent war

I feel my sanity slipping and I’m scared

I feel my reason leaving and I’m scared

I pace by myself but then I’m losing time

Can I even win?

 

The war continues and my role in it grows

New challenges come to me

New solutions present themselves

The weight of opportunity grows heavier on me

The weight of responsibility grows heavier on me

Once again, I am losing

Losing time, losing patience, losing sleep, losing hope

But still I fight on

Why? It’s been so long, I can’t remember anymore

 

Every step I take I lose something more

At this point it isn’t about hope or winning

I’m trudging on because it’s become a habit

I’m trudging on because I don’t know what else

I’m trudging on because I’m scared of what happens if I don’t

I’m losing, losing sight of the light at the end of the tunnel

Just waiting until I have finally lost