Things that won’t change when you are stressed (people saying get over it)

How many of you out there have been really stressed out, told someone about it and then heard them say, “Get over it.” I have heard it or a variation of that phrase quite a few times in my life. When I’m really feeling down hearing those words makes me feel even worse, and when I’m half way okay I get really annoyed at the person who says it and I feel like telling them, “If it were really that simple, don’t you think I would have done it already?”

I can understand why they say it though; some of them are tired of hearing or seeing me so stressed out so they tell me to stop it. Others may think that pointing out how dramatic I’m making the situation out to be will make me realise how stupid the entire thing is. To those who are annoyed and/or tired of seeing me act this way, I am sorry! But life is complicated and I am doing the best I can; to those who are trying to point the absurdity of the situation to me, I already know how absurd and stupid I am acting and how stupid the situation is, but despite that I can’t help being who I am and feeling the way I feel, all I can say is I’m trying to do better.

Still, to anyone who has told someone to get over it, just remember this: that the advice won’t always work. Sometimes problems are too big to just get over, even if they do seem small to you they are big to the other person and that is the real problem. Maybe sometimes telling a person to “get over it” might work, but life is complicated and not everything has a simple solution; you can’t expect to solve the other person’s woes and worries by just saying “get over it” again and again.

I know I can’t force people to understand, all I can ask is that those who are prone to saying get over it, try to think about what the person may be going through, and if you have told someone to get over it again and again but it hasn’t had any affect, then you need to realise that it probably won’t have an effect in the future either. To paraphrase a quote which I heard from a video game character, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

If you really do care about the distressed person’s wellbeing, then instead of saying get over it one more time, try finding a different approach like actually solving the problem that is causing the stress (if that is an option) or making them feel better with a fun time; or if the situation is serious perhaps suggest therapy. If you cannot suggest therapy then tell them to research on some helplines that offer free services. There are a lot of different ways to approach helping someone who is stressed out, instead of using a set of words that might not work. Try a different approach, it can’t hurt and you might just help the person out too.

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