Things that get me stressed: Looking for a job

Navy binoculars

By U.S. Navy photo by Airman Ricardo J. Reyes. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Back in 2016 there was a long period of time when I was unemployed. Luckily I had the support of my family at the time so I was okay financially, but still I couldn’t mooch off them forever so I knew I had to get a job quick. The problem was no one was hiring, I was sending out applications everyday, I would apply on the internet, I would call some companies, and some of them even called me back and set up an interview but even after the interview they would never call back. There were times I would feel like something was wrong with me but my friends assured me that it was tough all around, that some of them weren’t getting jobs either, that no one was hiring and I just had to wait.

I think the saddest part for me during that time period was the fact that for a while it seemed I actually had a job. There was a certain company that was willing to hire me but they said that I had to be put under a probation period. I was okay with that I was just happy to get a job finally. During my probation period things seemed to be going okay (more or less) and it seemed like I was going to get the job; at least that was the impression the bosses gave me. But then suddenly when it was getting close to the end of my probation period they told me they couldn’t keep me. When I asked why they made it out like I had done something wrong, they didn’t say so in so many words but the implication was there. So there I was unemployed again feeling depressed over everything. A few weeks went by , I was still unemployed and I met up with a friend who had worked for the same company that had hired and fired me, and he tells me that I wasn’t the only person they let go; a few others were made to leave as well and after talking with him for a while I realised that the real reason the company didn’t keep me was because they weren’t doing good financially, leave it to a corporation to mess up and make it feel like it’s your fault.

So there I was again, unemployed, and let me tell you that time period was no picnic. I just felt stressed and anxious every day and I would keep asking myself questions like why would no one hire me? Why won’t they reply to my message? Is it my fault? Did I say something wrong? Is my application letter poorly written? Is my resume not strong enough? Am I not sending enough applications? Am I applying to the wrong companies? Are the other applicants just that much better than me? What else can I do?

It was just a cycle of anxiety, stress, depression and a whole lot of plain and simple sadness. I felt, helpless, I felt useless, and I constantly questioned my own self-worth. It took nearly four months but eventually I did find another job and I felt somewhat happy again. But still, I will never forget those few months when I couldn’t get a job no matter how hard I tried and how useless I felt. I hope that I don’t ever have to experience something like that again.

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